Thursday, November 15, 2012

I keep my sheets in the fridge




Literally, in the fridge.

As I fought to find a place to store all the stuff I might not use I realized that the mini fridge in my room which doesn't work, can function perfectly as a storage space. What I didn't realize is how this perfectly reflects something I value – discretion.

As American’s we subconsciously draw a thick line where our personal thoughts, actions, and words begin and end. We keep things to ourselves when we don’t want others to find out something embarrassing, we dance around saying something we don’t want to say “ugh it’s that time of the month”. Really, that is quite nondescript. The motor of our mental filter is constantly at work ensuring that we don’t offend, say something crude, or just be plain rude. This allows our society to function on a level of mutual respect and ease.  We sleep on these secrets and tuck them away in the safety and folds of our minds. Like the secrets, my sheets are hidden away – my sheets are personal, I can finally let go when I’m sleeping and let all my worries and thoughts go. I keep them in the safety of my mini-fridge, somewhere no one will ever expect to find sheets!

Keeping up with the Dominicans has proven to break the barriers of this metaphoric line. Everything from rapid speech, erratic movement of the hips, laughs that sound as deep as drums and nasal sounds to describe different bodily functions. It is what I would imagine it would be like to be surrounded by an African tribe on uppers.  Surrounded by a sexual culture (keep in mind that these are specific observations made in my community) driven primarily by youth, I am constantly reminded that there is no discretion when it comes to expressing who you’re going to sleep with that night and end up “married to” that morning. The youngin’s, both guys and girls, are always grabbing their crotch, pursing their lips and any passerby and throwing you a wink. Now, this lack of respect is only one form of indiscretion. My host mother has been very descriptive about many many things. Always talking about the meats of a woman’s body, both in and out, telling me some of her deepest thoughts, being in the bathroom and telling me that she’s finally evacuating – yes evacuating.
It’s no wonder their sheets are always hanging out to dry!

On to other fun facts and activities!
My host sister and I have been spending a lot of time together. I have gotten to wanting to take care of her. She is always taking care of her mother and the house so, I decided she needed a day off and took her to the closest city, San Pedro de Macoris. It’s on the coast so we went to what we would know as the boardwalk – like – area , I bought her an ice cream and we dipped our toes in the water! You could see it on her face how happy she was! She is starting to confide in me about a lot of things and I’m saving up to take her to get pizza on “Children’s day” – the 15th of December!






Ever since she heard what my three month diagnostic was about, when she gets home from schools she says “Laura, can we go do some of those interviews?” She is so motivated and excited to do the work with me that it reminds me of some of the reasons I’m here! She also helped me with a poster I made for my first group with the youth from all the communities and wanted to help me make a home-made hand washing station for the bathroom! She is also very excited about nutrition and has already started adding one green leaf to her lunches. Every day she asks me something about food, nutrition, health and well-being. Her humility amazes me ; tonight, I was having a cup of my Trader Joes mint medley tea. Per Dominican custom, you make sure you share with EVERYONE in the house. So I poured 5 tea bags, we had company, and everyone asked for it with sugar, primarily because they weren’t used to “Te Chino” – tea that comes in tea bags (remember my host mom is a healer and uses her own concoctions of leaves). So everyone added sugar and my host sister came up to me and said, “I know this is your favorite tea and I’m going to have it without sugar so I can really know what it tastes like”. This is a minor example but she really takes the time to learn things and cares about how she connects with others.  She runs with me in the mornings, does yoga with me AND has attended all of my exercise classes!


I finally made myself a closet! I was living out of my suit cases with the most used clothes on top. I found the ridiculously large roll of twine a brought with me and the two lashes I use to attach my yoga mat to my backpack. I nailed two nails to the concrete wall and hung the twine, the lashes and quite a few pieces of yarn! Tada! A perfectly good closet!



My weeks are filling up and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I am lucky to have the support of the people I work with and my host mom. I keep thinking about how much I lucked out with the people I am surrounded with here – the people at the foundation which I am partnered with are great, I have nothing but support and motivated counterparts and my host mother does nothing but care for me.

Hanging out before my reunion with the youth! My project partner being goofy behind me!
This is where I spend most of my days - it's a good meeting spot between all the barrios and is the back part of the Ingenio

The jovenes getting organized for a dinamica

Project partner, me and host mom (left to right). We drove about an hour through nothing but tall sugar cane to a small campo where there was a live bachata band for the inauguration of a colmado

Thanksgiving is next week and I will be heading to the capital with other volunteers. We will enjoy all that is turkey deliciousness, a talent show, a few hours of pool time on the roof deck of a hotel and some sports in the morning!!!
                           Some other pictures


 My home for two years is in the process of being built!

 Walking through my barrio

front entrance to my house during sunset

beautiful - from my front porch

Just another cow hanging out in front of the house





More to come soon!

Love and miss you all like crazy!

Happy Reading!

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The time I learned how American I really am...and other cultural conundrums








 In an age where, in the US, parents are wanting their kids to be kids and go out and play, the children here are hard at work day in and day out scrubbing away at the dirt that accumulates in the cement block houses, cooking pounds of rice per day, washing dishes without running water – bending over buckets straining their back and walking kilometers for a couple of eggs and 1 ounce or two of salt.

I am writing this as I sit in my “dining room” table listening to my host mother mandar-ing  her daughter to do everything possible in the house, even though she is sick with a cold and fever. Sending her to go get two eggs here, then when she comes back having her go back to get her sugar, and then more sugar, then having her scrub the fridge – even though she did it yesterday, having her re-broom the kitchen – again she did this yesterday – I swept yesterday too. This is a typical daily experience here in Consuelo. My 14 year old host sister has this house standing  and not one days has gone by where is  not willing to do it. Many times I have heard her say “ well why do I have to do everything” “I work 24/7 I need to rest” and the usual response doesn’t sway far from something like “o, well your young”. This is discipline if I ever saw it.

On to other cultural conundrums – I have discovered that my American cultural habits are way stronger and more firm than I ever thought. Last night, Sunday, as I was finishing up teaching my host sister yoga, my host mom and some of her friends came by to get ready for going out for my mom’s birthday. I was taking my time cooling down and, per usual, they just starred. Noone was really asying anything but I knew they were waiting for me to hop in the shower and get ready  - indirect communication is way to common and it bugs the hell out of me. Anyways I got around to getting ready and they were blaring music, which by the way started while I was doing yoga, and getting their dance grooves on. Keep in mind I was ready to shower, get some PJ’s on, turn on my new fan in the room, lay in bed and read!
 So I sat in the living room while they were all just making a ton of noise. My eyes were feeling heavy by around 8pm and everyone immediately turned to me and asked me what was wrong, why I was sad, if I was depressed, if I was just tired, if they did something…that in itself was exhausting.  My host mom was going to go to a voodoo party for her birthday because one of the spirits called her, she says. Ended up staying here and  having a drink - In the end, she really wanted me to go with her to take one of her friends home because if I walk I wouldn’t be depressed anymore – about a 2 mile walk in the dark in a city – I was mad that she would let me go out that late. Didn’t get home until twelve and all I wanted was to lock myself in my room, turn the fan on, listen to music and sleep. on the way home I expressed all of this to her - i am using direct communication from the get-go....hoping i don't break a cultural rule or two.

In case that was too wordy and confusing for you to understand what habits I am referring to:
-          I like my alone time – PLEASE do not disturb
-          I appreciate privacy
-          Silencio por favor! – every once in a while please!

In the DR culture this makes me a reclusive, cold gringa – but seriously, I am still adjusting to the culture

What matters is what’s on the outside – this is a hard one for me to swallow. My host sister has been asking me how she can be a little healthier – not to lose weight, but because she is scared that she will get sick from something. I have been talking with her about making small changes, just adding a green leaf a day to her meals, the benefits of eating every meal, possible adding fruits, etc. Today, during lunch, she added one green leaf to her usual mound of rice! I congratulated her and my host mom and project partner where making fun of the whole green leaf  thing – why would you eat that? Does it help lose weight? You don’t need that, etc.

                  

           Next day: today: election day: the day I decided to continue with this post:


I have been sick all day with an awful stomach bug. My host mother came home for lunch and was seriously worried – I told her I was fine and that I just needed to rest, she gave me this mix of fresh squeezed OJ straight off her tree and salt which has helped me before and then went off to work. Next thing I knew her cousin, boyfriend, young Haitian boy who she’s friends with all came by because they heard I was sick…please I just want to curl up in bed and watch every episode of new girl and modern family! But no I felt pressured to chat and host them…
                                  ..... just another norm i must get used to....

Just a few cultural things I have been observing and learning – I can already tell that this 2 year journey is going to be a humbling experience – I find myself wanting to change their hygiene practices (partially for my safety), make suggestions about their eating habits and help teach them more efficient ways of doing things but I have restrained myself. I am not here to change the way they do things. I am here to share in how they do things. There is no right way to do something. The changes that need to be made, will be made by example and with time. Something I need to be mindful of.

Happy Reading and may the best presidential candidate win *cough*Cough* OBAMA!