Do things actually happen for a reason? Site change, life living in a hostal and first trip back to the states

4 months ago, when I got to Consuelo, I was talking with my host mom getting to know each other. She told me that she had a feeling that Consuelo was not for me, I would be in another site for the better part of my service for some reason or another. A couple of days later, my boss had called and asked about my host mother and her "spiritual practices". It turns out PC staff had found out about her spirits and voodoo-ism and thought it would be best I not be there. I had a meeting with my project partner and host mom and we agreed that we would tell my PC that everything was okay and that I felt safe - which I did, at the time. 

The next few months I was having serious issues with project stuff. No one in Consuelo was participating in my project because I was associated with my project partner who, I didn't know, was suspending promoters from working with me and doing a lot of things that went against me developing my work. I had talked to a couple of volunteers who said I should ask for a site change since it doesn't seem like this project will allow me to be productive. I stuck with the "no, I can do it" mindset. So I tried. Months came and went, a lot of struggling occurred and I decided to make some serious decisions about who I would be working with. I couldn't have made it through these struggles without my best friends at site (the three ladies I will miss the most). 

I moved out of my host mother's house and felt great! I had my personal space, lived closer to the communities that I wanted to work the most in, and lived right next to my closest friend! Things were great until my neighbor told me that I had a stalker. He was not just a stalker but one with a mission and a previous record. I was so deeply loving my community that I didn't think much of it. I know it was bad enough to get pulled and a site change so I didn't call PC. It took Bill coming down, seeing my situation, seeing how I behaved when I was inside the house (waking up several times a night opening all the windows to check if he was outside) for me to realize that it was serious enough to call. So, I called a couple days after Bill left from his 2 week visit and the security officer told me to be in the capital in the next two hours and to pack a bag for 2 days. 

            So, was it in the cards for me to not be in Consuelo since the beginning?

                                                      FAST FORWARD 11 DAYS

Just took off from Las Americas airport heading home for a last minute surprise trip to Boston.

Boston!

It has been a whirlwind past couple of weeks and, against all PC staff advice, I’m taking a vacation at my home in Belmont. After being pulled out of site due to a safety and security incident, it ws decided that I will not be going back there and am not in the middle of a site change. PCDR staff has been amazing and receptive to my input in future site placement. They definitely took their time in deciding whether I should stay in Consuelo or not. I fought to stay – I grew to love Consuelo even though it is one of the hardest and challenging places I have ever had to live in and manage.

Drying my undies - hung my new free box clothes up!

After being pulled I was living in a hostal in the capital with one pair of pants, two shirts and 3 pairs of underwear. I was told to pack for two days and here I am leaving after 11 days in the capital. I decided to peace out and go visit some friends around the country. I went to visit Katie in Las Merceditas, where a serendipitous event took place. A very appropriate-to-the-situation saying in Spanish was told to me by Katie’s awesome host dad: “Cayo como el anillo al dedo” – it fell like a ring on the finger. Los Blancos, the community down the road from Katie is soliciting a health volunteer and I fought hard to be considered for that site. This site is in need of a health volunteer. From my conversation with a group of women there, I could tell that they had never been touched by preventative education from anyone health and they were in need of education on nutrition, sexual health, childhood health, etc. Before leaving for Boston it looks like my boss agreed with this site but has to go and see if there are projects I can actually work on! So, because of semana santa I know things will be slow until April and all my volunteer friends are having family down in the DR or are doing something touristy during the week. I figure I would go home, “despejarme un chin”, and come back refreshed and ready to start over! Maybe I can do laundry and not have to hang it from the television antenna of the hostal to dry! At least I had the PCV free box so I could add to my wardrobe!

Things I’m expecting will be an apparent change or difference / a bit shocking.

-       Not the material things – I can get almost anything in the DR.

-       Not saludaring everyone all the time on the street, public transport, etc.

-       Not needing to throw the TP in the trash

-       Not having to wash my feet every night

-       No mosquito net??

-       Being able to walk down the street with anonymity

-       Being able to walk down the street and feel like a respected human being

-       The water situation…constant running water AND potable faucet water?!?!?

-       Having healthy options for lunch

-       Beer. Real. Hops. Delicious.

-       Shows on a television. With a TV guide.

-       Not always having to feel like you have to conceal everything and anything about myself

-        

OBERSERVATIONS AFTER 5 DAYS HERE:

   All of the above proved to be true. I even stepped out of the shower while the water was running. I was used to just stepping out when done because I bucket bathe. oops! 

     PC staff advised me against going home because according to them this is “ a confusing time and the comfort of home can really make [me] think twice about coming back considering what you have just been through.” I considered what they said and that they had a valid reason. But something in my head said…laura just take a break and go home. Now I had already been practicing my assertiveness with my boss. So I went to the safety officer and said “you know what, I think I’m in the right mindset to go home and return refreshed and rejuvenated to start anew when I return” she said “great if that’s your decision go! Go for 10 days if you want!” So, here I am, sitting at my window seat in row 20 of an insanely early jetblue flight reflecting on expectations for my first trip home. 

   

     I am excited to go back to the warmth (not just temperature but the people too) of the DR. I miss my friends, both PCVs and host country nationals (dominicans), i'm kind of starting to miss arroz and habichuelas, and, believe it or not, I'm having a hard time falling asleep with all of this silence.

I have had a lot of time to reflect on why. Why is this happening? I was just getting integrated to my site. I had such good friends. I had all these plans for projects. I knew I never felt safe but thought that was part of being a white female in a seriously machismo culture.  I have learned so much about myself in Consuelo. Things I don't think I would have learned had a been in another site. I learned how to make decisions for myself and the greater community. I learned how to be assertive. I got a whole new sense of confidence and independence. Having to manage the streets of such a caliente pueblo where people would be out drinking at 8AM on a sunday morning, men truly believe they can have any woman any time and anywhere. They have no sense of respect for you when your walking by. Motoconchos everywhere. Walking through a wall of sexual harassment every time I wanted to go to my host mom's house. These things made me stronger.

 I had a very humbling experience. A lot of dominicans tell you you dont know how to do anything - sometimes you jsut have to bite your lip and say you don't. This happened a lot, so I asked my host mom to teach me how to sweep, to wash dishes, mop, make my bed and do laundry.  

Due to all of this, I am able to better handle this transition period and look forward to what is to come. I always had a hard time managing the expectations I had for my PC experience and seeing that where I was placed was not at all what I thought my life would be like. I accepted it and adapted quickly. I learned how to work with what I have and look at all the positives, even if i was a disappointment at first.

I am now, if all goes well, being sent to a site that is exactly what I always wanted. Size, culture, feel, etc. I think I will be able to develop myself and a community the way I always wanted to.

                                     So, do things really happen for a reason?

    

My host sister and one of my best friends! I'm gonna miss this girl so much.

                                                           Some pictures of my visit to Katie's site

"Hi, I'm Katie and this is where i live!"

The one road in the south. Most communities are right on this road and go up into the mountains

                                               People I'm going to miss so much

Such a good friend - helped me out through seriously hard times and helped motivate people in the community

My youth leaders

This little nugget - my best friend,daytime roommate and puppy care-taker! (yes i know, shes only 4 but acts like shes 20 and is seriously insightful)

Youth leaders

Consuelo Kids.

Off to enjoy some good food, privacy/time to myself that I can never have int he DR, relaxing, good friend hang out time.

Stay tuned.....

I

Dominican travles, funerals and shenanigans (tons of pictures!)

The new year started off with food poisoning. Not too much to report on that. Once that was over I headed back to site to get working on my diagnostic report – a 15 page report explaining what I have been doing over my diagnostic period, what I found and what I plan to do about it. In a nutshell I have decided to do 2 groups of each initiative (Escojo and Hogares), start a documentation project and, in the future, a latrine project. Over my diagnostic period I found myself talking with a lot of families about documentation. When I asked why someone left school in the 4^th gade (the average grade which people dropped out) a lot of them said something along the lines of “well I know that I won’t get papers so I won’t be able to go to high school…I thought I might as well just learn how to be a Dona from now”. This was shocking to hear but not as shocking as the results of teen pregnancy. There was a high correlation between undocumented girls and pregnancy starting between 12 and 14. So, in a nutshell, yes documentation will be important. I don’t have many details on how I will be going about that primarily because I’m focusing on getting my groups going. I have also decided to get involved with a volunteer run initiative which focuses on marine conservation. Now those of you who have known me for years know how perfect this is – remember when I was applying to colleges with good marine biology programs? Well, I may finally be able to fulfill that dream.

Once this report was done, I headed to 3-month IST (In-Service Training) –a benchmark in Peace Corps service. This is when we all go, all 15 of us new health volunteers, and present our diagnostic. I did mine in PowerPoint and had all sorts of graphs, pictures, etc. During IST we also, finally, learn how to apply to grants so we can fund our projects. Yay! No more out of pocket expenses! We also did a lot of project planning, vision making, etc. The highlight of IST was Valentine ’s Day. I spent it with my closest friends here – we pushed all of our beds into the conference room and watched Crazy, Stupid, Love. One of the best non-Bill Valentines Days ever! Not to mention the PC staff that came that day – doctors to give vaccines, safety and security officer, speakers, etc. brought tons of candy!!!

Before all of this though, I took a short R&R to Casa de Campo. My godfather, Diego, was here with his family and had invited me to spend a few days with them. It was nice to get a way and even better to finally see a familiar face from my pre-pc life. They all asked me how it has been going and for the first time I found myself struggling to find words to explain it all. I think this had to do with the fact that because I don’t talk to them regularly it’s harder to sum up what it is I’m actually doing. I ate delicious food, had several hot showers, went to the beach and had several “holy-shit-EVERYONE-is-ALWAYS-on-their-iPhone” moments.

I headed back to site after this very refreshing escape and began packing up to move out to my own place!!! I was so excited to just have my own space and not have to always answer to someone or feel obligated to get out of my room early in the morning when all I want is to sleep in. Well, I guess my expectations were quite high. I moved out, spent the first few days without water until I bought a tank and all the proper not-too-much-water-and-electricity-in-the-house equipment.

A little about la Americana living in my new community:

Without fail, I always have kids in my house or in my patio. They are either helping to clean everything, helping hand things up, just sitting and waiting for me to talk to them, waiting for a mandado (when you send a kid to get you something or do something), etc. At first I would get so frustrated – “ugh, don’t these kids ever just chill? Why are they always coming over here?” Now, I look forward to them coming over – sometimes they are the highlight of my day. There is one little girl who I have adopted as my Dominican baby sister. She’s 4 but has the attitude of a 16 year old and knows a lot! She comes over every day without fail, sometimes I’ll give her breakfast or lunch – most of these kids rarely get lunch, and this is the only meal they get around here. This little girl has kept me company, made me laugh when I’m said and best of all always comes over to give me hugs and tells me she misses me. She is AWSOME!

Neighbors are always sending food to my house! It is great! However I always feel bad that I can’t give anything back – or I can but it will fail in comparison to true Dona Dominican cooking – que verguenza!

I barely sleep. I have motoconchos speeding by my house all the time, and they said it was one of the more tranquilo barrios.

I love having my own space to do my thing! I had developed this awesome routine of running in the morning mixed with yoga and some serious journaling time! Then came IST, Bill’s visit and I lost this amazing routine.

Now, down to the best part of 2013 – Bill came to visit for two whole weeks! After 6 months of anticipation I went to the airport and was finally re-united with my best friend! We spent a couple days at my site – when we had gotten back from the airport my kids had made a sign welcoming him for him and hung it on my front door – so cute! They had been waiting for him to, the whole week prior they kept asking…”is he here yet?” “When is he coming?” no matter how many times I told them, they still asked. Our agenda consisted of a lot of fun traveling and relaxing beach side time.

We rented a car from a guy in my community and headed north towards Puerto Plata. On the way we stopped at my CBT site to visit my host mom there – She was so happy she could meet her “son”! After a very loud and boisterous hello and goodbye we headed up a new highway in the DR and passed a couple miles of Palm Tree reforestation – I didn’t even know that existed. We stopped in Puerto Plata for lunch where I went for New Years. Once we did that we headed to this beautiful eco-lodge. We stayed in an open-air bungalow that overlooked the mountains and ocean of Puerto Plata. Bill and I decided we are going to build one of these one day!!! After a peaceful sleep, we headed to 27 Charcos. This place is amazing – I went with a couple of volunteers and knew I had to come with Bill. You climb up a mountain for about 45minutes and then jump and slide your way down waterfalls to get to the bottom! This place was actually semi-started by a peace corps volunteer as an eco-tourism project- he trained the guides and built the path up the mountain. Now, truckloads of tourists on excursions come here to experience this natural wonder! GO PEACE CORPS for providing such awesome adventures!

After 27 Charcos we headed to the city of Santiago – second largest city in the DR) where Bill would finally meet my Peace Corps friends. We went out dancing, Bill learned how to dance Bachata, and had a couple of beers. We kept it low key in preparation for our Carnaval shenanigans the next day! So, Sunday morning we headed to La Vega for the biggest Carnaval celebration in the DR.  celebrated during the whole month of February, although some towns celebrate it during March, Holy Week and August. It usually climaxes around February 27, Dominican Independence Day. This carnival is distinguished by its colorful costumes, that symbolize many religious and traditional characters such as Calife, Guloya or the famous Diablo Cojuelo. There are kids who participate in the parade and they all carry pig blatters. The goal for them is to whip people with these pig blatters (many people don’t attend carnival for the sheer fact of avoiding the whipping. Prior to going I said, no biggy I’ll just stand on the side. Well, even if you’re standing on the side they will get you. I got whipped twice on my butt and at the end of the night a really bad one of my thigh. It was so bad that I fell over because all the feeling in my leg was gone. I cried out of pain and couldn’t walk for a good 25 minutes. I guess I’ll just chalk it up as a war wound.

When I could finally walk a bunch of us headed to a free Prince Royce concert! For those of you who don’t know who he is well…he is the Dominican Justin Bieber who plays Bachata. Girls freak out over him and during his concert everytime he played a song or spoke the girls went nuts! It was a great way to end carnival. Bill and I dance in the middle of the baseball stadium – it was held here – and just enjoyed every moment of this!

Monday we headed back east towards Punta Cana for 6 days of all-inclusive awesomeness. It was a bit shocking for me. I actually asked bill if it was okay to shower without flip-flops and put the TP in the toilet. He laughed and probably thought I was just being ridiculous. We had fondue, Mexican, Italian and definitely skipped the Dominican buffet night. We partied on the beach, drank at the swim up bar and finally watched The Hunger Games together. We have been reading the books together to keep us connected and vowed to not watch the movie without each other. It was great to have a movie night in. A great part of our stay was the people we met. We met a couple who just loved what we were doing. They loved that, as a young couple, we were allowing and fully supporting each other to follow our dreams. They couldn’t believe that there were people like that that still did that. We spent the days talking to them and by the end of our trip they told me that they would like to send down a box of 60-70 pairs of school shoes for the kids in my community. This is primarily because I went into a rant a few days before about how many kids aren’t allowed in school without a certain pair of shoes, most of which can’t afford. These people are amazing and I am so grateful to have met them – it reminds me that I can in fact have some faith in humanity. Thank you.

As our vacation wound down, we headed back to my site for 3 days of my usual daily life. Bill really wanted to get an intimate view of what my daily life was really like. Well he did, especially when he said “I don’t know if I could do this – the pace of life is just so slow”. Haha yes, I’m lucky if I do two productive things in one day. Not because I have become lazy but it’s because I spend a lot of time just talking with people in my community. Bill played with the kids a bunch which was good, it kept him “busy”. I tried to make one of the days full of errands – we went and got materials to build a gate for Zenny. I forgot to mention this…I GOT A PUPPY! His name is Zenny and I am mad at him right now. He is a hyperactive, aggressive dog. He is half Rottweiler and half German shepherd. I got him for free thanks to a previous volunteer. Her dog just had puppies and she was “giving them out”. I have now experienced the sleepless nights, non-house trained and high maintenance of a puppy. Anyways, Bill, being the best guy in the world, offered to build a gate to keep Zenny from always being in my room. The day Bill was leaving came – we went to the airport and had a tearful goodbye, on my part of course – he kept strong for me – and then I headed back. It wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated. I think I was just so happy to have had him here for 2 whole weeks that that overshadowed him leaving.

Once he left I got a bacterial infection which has affected the really bad Gripe I have been having. No worries, some amoxicillin and crazy amounts of Ibuprofen can fix this no problem. As the weekend came, my good friend who, by the way, watches my house and zenny when I’m gone, comes over to spend time with me almost every night and has just been an amazing friend overall were hanging out. Her brother has been in the hospital for 2 weeks and she has been really messed up over it. It was a tragic situation, because he past away this weekend. I was with her the whole time as she had asked me not to leave her side. Her brother was 15, he had intestinal issues after something he ate and two weeks later, he passed. He helped me with my move, helped nail things into the wall, cleaned my patio for me without even asking him, and always sat outside my house watching it when I was out running errands; a beautiful and humble kid. This is the second funeral I have attended in the past month for a friends’ brother. It has been a very interesting and culturally awakening experience.

There is no set time for a Dominican funeral. It starts once the first neighbor finds out about the death – this is usually around the same time the family finds out considering word spreads like rapid fire around here. Here, instead of giving space for the family to mourn you are supposed to go sit at their house for days and just hug them every time you see them. About 200 people show up for this. You can imagine how I felt after finding out that I shouldn’t just be giving them space – guilty for not throwing myself on them.  Usually the next day, or even that afternoon while everyone is still gathered, the funeral car comes and some people take the coffin out to the car. This is the worst part – when the women are screaming, throwing themselves on the coffin and some become hysterical. The crowd walks behind the car to the cemetery and they prepare for the burial. This is when it gets really interesting. Some women become so hysterical that they supposedly “lose their scream so have to be thrown up in the air to bring her back”. I saw this happen a couple of times – four people take a limb and they throw her up and down until the scream comes out. People have actually gotten hospitalized at funerals…ironic. The past few days have been emotional

Here are a ton of pictures - somewhat out of order, but it's what I can with spotty wi-fi.

Carnaval - La Vega, 2013. - This was my favorite costume

Here you can see the pig bladder whip

Presenting my diagnostic with my project partner

Presenting my diagnostic to my community - on charla paper which I made the night before without electricity and by headlamp.

the dump is in my barrio - people go there all the time in search of something they could possibly sell

My barrio

no caption necessary!

getting my diagnostic stuff together - tallying 125 interviews

"At what age did you have your first pregnancy?" "13 years old"

Yay my godfather's kids in Casa de Campo

Casa de Campo beach

my best friend at site

Had a conference here! beautiful

me and my project partner in Jarabacoa for a conference

my bestie!!! haha

Giving a community leadership charla to my youth

Team Building activity

Bizcocho and cookies for brindis in my house

my right hand man mopping my floor - without even asking!

shes sooo cute!

<3

hacky sack-ing

drinking coconut water from my coconut tree!

Bill getting a taste of a day in the life of laura - washing dishes!

building zenny's gate

my handy-man!

my kitchen

my office/work space

27 charcos

Bungalow at the eco-lodge

view from laying in bed

chilling in the pool at the all-inclusive

carnaval

eco-lodge again

beachside!

So, three months into 2013 and it has been quite a ride!

Missing everyone like crazy but happy to be here!