Live with Passion: Do things actually happen for a reason? Site change, life living in a hostal and first trip back to the states

4 months ago, when I got to Consuelo, I was talking with my host mom getting to know each other. She told me that she had a feeling that Consuelo was not for me, I would be in another site for the better part of my service for some reason or another. A couple of days later, my boss had called and asked about my host mother and her "spiritual practices". It turns out PC staff had found out about her spirits and voodoo-ism and thought it would be best I not be there. I had a meeting with my project partner and host mom and we agreed that we would tell my PC that everything was okay and that I felt safe - which I did, at the time.

The next few months I was having serious issues with project stuff. No one in Consuelo was participating in my project because I was associated with my project partner who, I didn't know, was suspending promoters from working with me and doing a lot of things that went against me developing my work. I had talked to a couple of volunteers who said I should ask for a site change since it doesn't seem like this project will allow me to be productive. I stuck with the "no, I can do it" mindset. So I tried. Months came and went, a lot of struggling occurred and I decided to make some serious decisions about who I would be working with. I couldn't have made it through these struggles without my best friends at site (the three ladies I will miss the most).

I moved out of my host mother's house and felt great! I had my personal space, lived closer to the communities that I wanted to work the most in, and lived right next to my closest friend! Things were great until my neighbor told me that I had a stalker. He was not just a stalker but one with a mission and a previous record. I was so deeply loving my community that I didn't think much of it. I know it was bad enough to get pulled and a site change so I didn't call PC. It took Bill coming down, seeing my situation, seeing how I behaved when I was inside the house (waking up several times a night opening all the windows to check if he was outside) for me to realize that it was serious enough to call. So, I called a couple days after Bill left from his 2 week visit and the security officer told me to be in the capital in the next two hours and to pack a bag for 2 days.

So, was it in the cards for me to not be in Consuelo since the beginning?

FAST FORWARD 11 DAYS

Just took off from Las Americas airport heading home for a last minute surprise trip to Boston.

Boston!

It has been a whirlwind past couple of weeks and, against all PC staff advice, I’m taking a vacation at my home in Belmont. After being pulled out of site due to a safety and security incident, it ws decided that I will not be going back there and am not in the middle of a site change. PCDR staff has been amazing and receptive to my input in future site placement. They definitely took their time in deciding whether I should stay in Consuelo or not. I fought to stay – I grew to love Consuelo even though it is one of the hardest and challenging places I have ever had to live in and manage.

Drying my undies - hung my new free box clothes up!

After being pulled I was living in a hostal in the capital with one pair of pants, two shirts and 3 pairs of underwear. I was told to pack for two days and here I am leaving after 11 days in the capital. I decided to peace out and go visit some friends around the country. I went to visit Katie in Las Merceditas, where a serendipitous event took place. A very appropriate-to-the-situation saying in Spanish was told to me by Katie’s awesome host dad: “Cayo como el anillo al dedo” – it fell like a ring on the finger. Los Blancos, the community down the road from Katie is soliciting a health volunteer and I fought hard to be considered for that site. This site is in need of a health volunteer. From my conversation with a group of women there, I could tell that they had never been touched by preventative education from anyone health and they were in need of education on nutrition, sexual health, childhood health, etc. Before leaving for Boston it looks like my boss agreed with this site but has to go and see if there are projects I can actually work on! So, because of semana santa I know things will be slow until April and all my volunteer friends are having family down in the DR or are doing something touristy during the week. I figure I would go home, “despejarme un chin”, and come back refreshed and ready to start over! Maybe I can do laundry and not have to hang it from the television antenna of the hostal to dry! At least I had the PCV free box so I could add to my wardrobe!

Things I’m expecting will be an apparent change or difference / a bit shocking.

- Not the material things – I can get almost anything in the DR.

- Not saludaring everyone all the time on the street, public transport, etc.

- Not needing to throw the TP in the trash

- Not having to wash my feet every night

- No mosquito net??

- Being able to walk down the street with anonymity

- Being able to walk down the street and feel like a respected human being

- The water situation…constant running water AND potable faucet water?!?!?

- Having healthy options for lunch

- Beer. Real. Hops. Delicious.

- Shows on a television. With a TV guide.

- Not always having to feel like you have to conceal everything and anything about myself

OBERSERVATIONS AFTER 5 DAYS HERE:

All of the above proved to be true. I even stepped out of the shower while the water was running. I was used to just stepping out when done because I bucket bathe. oops!

PC staff advised me against going home because according to them this is “ a confusing time and the comfort of home can really make [me] think twice about coming back considering what you have just been through.” I considered what they said and that they had a valid reason. But something in my head said…laura just take a break and go home. Now I had already been practicing my assertiveness with my boss. So I went to the safety officer and said “you know what, I think I’m in the right mindset to go home and return refreshed and rejuvenated to start anew when I return” she said “great if that’s your decision go! Go for 10 days if you want!” So, here I am, sitting at my window seat in row 20 of an insanely early jetblue flight reflecting on expectations for my first trip home.

I am excited to go back to the warmth (not just temperature but the people too) of the DR. I miss my friends, both PCVs and host country nationals (dominicans), i'm kind of starting to miss arroz and habichuelas, and, believe it or not, I'm having a hard time falling asleep with all of this silence.

I have had a lot of time to reflect on why. Why is this happening? I was just getting integrated to my site. I had such good friends. I had all these plans for projects. I knew I never felt safe but thought that was part of being a white female in a seriously machismo culture. I have learned so much about myself in Consuelo. Things I don't think I would have learned had a been in another site. I learned how to make decisions for myself and the greater community. I learned how to be assertive. I got a whole new sense of confidence and independence. Having to manage the streets of such a caliente pueblo where people would be out drinking at 8AM on a sunday morning, men truly believe they can have any woman any time and anywhere. They have no sense of respect for you when your walking by. Motoconchos everywhere. Walking through a wall of sexual harassment every time I wanted to go to my host mom's house. These things made me stronger.

I had a very humbling experience. A lot of dominicans tell you you dont know how to do anything - sometimes you jsut have to bite your lip and say you don't. This happened a lot, so I asked my host mom to teach me how to sweep, to wash dishes, mop, make my bed and do laundry.

Due to all of this, I am able to better handle this transition period and look forward to what is to come. I always had a hard time managing the expectations I had for my PC experience and seeing that where I was placed was not at all what I thought my life would be like. I accepted it and adapted quickly. I learned how to work with what I have and look at all the positives, even if i was a disappointment at first.

I am now, if all goes well, being sent to a site that is exactly what I always wanted. Size, culture, feel, etc. I think I will be able to develop myself and a community the way I always wanted to.

So, do things really happen for a reason?

My host sister and one of my best friends! I'm gonna miss this girl so much.

Some pictures of my visit to Katie's site

"Hi, I'm Katie and this is where i live!"

The one road in the south. Most communities are right on this road and go up into the mountains

People I'm going to miss so much

Such a good friend - helped me out through seriously hard times and helped motivate people in the community

My youth leaders

This little nugget - my best friend,daytime roommate and puppy care-taker! (yes i know, shes only 4 but acts like shes 20 and is seriously insightful)